Monday, September 3, 2012

breaking up with my uterus

Tomorrow is the day.  I can unfortunately put it off no longer.  At approx. 9am, I will be parting ways with my uterus.  It has provided the perfect "home" for my babies to grow, but it couldn't leave well enough alone and it's more than time for it to move on. 

I'm not very nervous about the actual surgery, just more anxious about being away from home overnight.  And today's "cleanse" is probably the worst part of all of it.  YUCK.  I'm just ready for it all to be over with.

A giant "thank you" to my girlfriends who gave my mind a much needed rest by helping me plan my funeral should something happen to me.  What started out as a "if I happen to die, please talk me up in my obituary and no carpooling to my funeral, I want a long processional to the grave service" ended with a six hour texting conversation and funeral plans complete.

Let me share the highlights/rules...
  • if, during my funeral, the minister (Angela!) asks if people would like to get up and say a word about me...EACH OF THEM ARE REQUIRED TO GET UP AND SAY LOTS OF GREAT THINGS ABOUT ME
  • definitely will be a televised event, hosted by Matt Lauer, and held at The Edwards Jones Dome due to size restraints elsewhere. Big, this is going to be a very big event.
  • Jen will be singing Joshua Kaddison's "Jesse" (takes me back to '94) and Adriane called dibs on Mariah Carey's "Hero"  Then the Parkview girls will be bringing "That's What Friends Are For" back 80's style, complete with hand/arm movement routine.
  • Jerry's will cater and Hit N Run will supply the drinks.
  • I suggested an all white attire like P.Diddy's 'White Ball' he throws every year but did get some resistance from the girls about appearing on tv in white and looking like blimps.  I had to remind them that they're not supposed to look better than the star of the show (me) and the washed out, white look will look appropriate with the theme...death.
  • Jen will make sure I have fresh highlights and am wearing my half marathon race shirt and finisher medal
  • Shelley will be wearing her highschool wool pom uniform and will lead the way for the GCHS marching band to play the school fight song.
  • Hopefully the Straight Curves will be willing to reunite for this one special event to sing "End of the Road"...naturally. 
  • A final wardrobe was finally decided upon and it looks like the girls will be wearing white airbrushed shirts fashioned into strapless shirts complete with fringing and beads at the bottom.
Thanks, Jen, Ang, Adie, Jill, & girls are the best :) Does this sound like the party of the year or what???  Of course I'm hoping it's postponed for 60+ years! 

Good luck to my wonderful husband who has taken the week off to hold down the fort!  Prayers for a speedy recovery...this woman doesn't like to be down long!


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