A Letter To My Brady

Dearest Brady-

I'm going to get straight to the point. I'm not stupid. I realize that you don't give me enough credit because I'm a "girl", but I'm on to you. Totally.

Let me start by saying that your father and I have been very lenient with you. For a few reasons but mostly because you have two older brothers (one who is basically a juvenile delinquent) so you've seen and heard more things than a five year old should. However, lately, your antics are pushing me to the edge. Most things you do are normal five year old boys stuff, but your language...oh Brady, your language is so bad. When I sat you down last fall to talk to you about this, you asked me to list of all the words you can't say. And I obliged...hoping you would avoid these words all together. I'll give you credit. You're very creative in what you say, but you're not fooling me. No...I know what you meant when you told Bennett you were going to "kick his ace", but I often feel the same, so I let it slide :) And when you sat down at dinner, flipped up your middle finger and said "hello everyone, I'm the f-word"..well, that was just really funny. But the other day when you yelled "I have to siss" as you were running to the bathroom...that was taking things too far. Off to your room you went. And tonight, you were already in time-out for calling your brother "a friggin' idiot" (granted he was acting like one) when your other brother walked into the room and you called him a "loser". Breaking point..everyone has one, and I've reached mine. Gold star effort for claiming you were actually calling him a "luger, like in the Olympics. Because one time Ben slid down the stairs on his back and he reminded me of a luger and besides the word luger isn't on the list". Nice try, but no dice. I'm done. No more Mrs. Nice Mommy. And the ultimate punishment was enforced...no XBOX...gasp! The tears fell and an Oscar-worthy "Most Dramatic Performance by a 5-Year Old" ensued, but I'm holding my ground and your daddy is backing me. He told you a bar of soap in your mouth would be next...

So, please Brady....please think before you speak and no more bad words. Yes, it will be hard, but you can do it. Just yesterday, your teacher told me that you are a very "mature 5 year old". Prove it!!!

Love,

Mom